down to jean jam

PRIDE

2010-05-11T07:28:00.000-04:00

In celebration of upcoming PRIDE Parades around the world. Have your cake and EAT IT too!!

Closeted? I bet the internet is your best friend.

2010-04-27T01:15:00.003-04:00

Completely by accident, let me just preface, I came across this quick little vid on the good ol'internet and was reminded about the days before I was ready to admit I was a big lesbian. The days of telling my roommate that I didn't know all the movies that were coming in from Netflix were Lesbian Romance movies or convincing myself that the reason I stared a little longer than normal at a great set of tits was because I was envious. Those days aside now I blatantly stare and had forgotten how much I relied on the internet to explore secret yearnings; but this video brought those memories back in a nostalgic way that almost made me miss having a such a taboo hobby--internet lesbianism. So in honor of watching lesbian porn in the dark of my room with headphones so that my roommate couldn't hear and wouldn't know what I was doing, I wanted to share this video. To those of you still closeted and/or still making excuses for the double take you gave to the girl whom you passed on the street/in the store/walking to or from class/etc. I offer this advice: Give up the excuses already and trust me, it gets even better once you admit you like girls.

Oh Po

List #3.

2010-03-27T16:53:00.002-04:00

Hi. I went to Austin for SXSW, but nothing gay happened there. Pretty strictly hetero activity. Besides the fact that I went with Alana, a 10 on the androgyny scale (be on the lookout for a guest blog by Uncle Jessie on this topic soon). So instead of blogging about gay things I decided to make another list. Here are some things I have been way into lately:

- March Madness (duh)
- apples
- The Middle East
- bike riding
- the people I work with
- never sleeping
- astrology (always)
- playing sports every weekend
- Vans mids
- my roommates
- long-term friendships
- Microbiology
- traveling (always)
- packing lunch
- posi-jumping
- Girl Scout cookies

- Jennifer

PS: Happy Birthday JBone!! Luv ya like a *~sister~*!!!!!!!!

The OC FINALLY has a gay club!!

2010-02-21T16:58:00.003-05:00

Mairin and I will check this out next Sunday we have free: expect a updated rating asap.

Hopeful,
Coley

Big Bear Gay Friendly

2010-02-14T23:57:00.004-05:00

As we haven't updated the blog much in the way of gayCA, I thought I'd try my hand as travel critic for fellow homos..

Mairin and I spent this Valentine's weekend up in Big Bear Lake, CA. Much to our surprise Big Bear is in fact completely welcoming to a little girl-on-girl. So much so that they have taken pride into their own and created a bear pride flag:

We stayed at the Knickerbocker Mansion B&B - the number one and only place we recommend staying, gay or straight. The staff was wonderful, the food was DELICIOUS and it was in a great location close to the downtown village and mountain.

No discrimination to be found. PDA was all good in the town, restaurants, shops, etc. We even got a couples massage package as girlfriends without any awkwardness. The only stares during our V-day dinner reservation was from a 13 yr old skater boy who had to leave his table for the cold winter snowy air to calm the raging boner being suffocated in his tight pants.

Needless to say the few other lezzy couples we did see up on the mountain were of the butcher type and probs a lil' more au naturale in the nethers, but whether people thought they were gay bears or dykes, no one seemed to care.

Overall: 9.2

Dining: 9, "at Big Bear you're always hungry"
Cleanliness: 9
Beauty: 10
Value: 9, moderate pricing and great fun
Service: 9, town built to tourists

Mairin and I had a great time and are already planning another visit in the summer for hiking and camping.

Out,
Coley

Los Angeles!

2010-02-13T16:12:00.011-05:00

About a month ago DTJJ was reunited in the great state of California. Ashleigh, Kacy and myself went to visit Mairin and Nicole in Los Angeles. The original five jammers. Doesn't get any better than that. Also, it was a much needed gaycation after working for a month straight.

The entire trip was breath-taking but the most important part was obviously our trek to West Hollywood. When I think of WeHo one word comes to mind: gay. And let me tell you, West Hollywood is gaytown for a reason.

Our first stop was at TruckStop aka GirlBar aka SheBar. Although it was Saturday, not Friday, (so not technically GirlBar) this place was incredible. Huge projection screens in every room showing the music videos from the songs they were playing, go-go dancers on raised platforms with incredible bodies (Kacy in particular was mesmerized by the male bodies on display) and great people watching. I was most stoked on the music selection and had a great time. Ashleigh was approached by some Australian guy who I still think I may have gone straight for. He was great. I was also amazed by the dancers. Short-shorts and high-tops. Yes please.

Then we decided to go across the street and check out The Abbey aka The Planet. This place was crowded. Beyond crowded to be honest. Such great people watching. It was amazing. There were like four different bars inside, people dancing everywhere (including on top of the couches and chairs), more go-go dancers dancing on top of the bar, and an outdoor area where people were dining. I would say my personal highlight for this location was witnessing one of the male go-go dancers holding a bar patron's camera and taking a picture down his shorts of his dick. My second highlight of the night came from a beautiful couple who is pictured below seated next to Mairin and Nicole:

These girls (ladies?) were beyond trashed and I loved it.

The trip to Hollywood was a great success and I had an awesome time. Thanxxx to Mairin and Nicole for hosting the rest of DTJJ in Cali for an entire week. You guys can come stay in my room at Sallen whenever you want. I hear there's some gay bar in Richmond called Babez. We should check it out.

- Jen

Love this.

2010-02-05T14:31:00.000-05:00

Too stoked.

2010-02-02T21:45:00.002-05:00

Here's where I am planning on going for my birthday this year:

Monster Jam! Are you serious?! Fuck yes.

I know my number one bros Lindsey Noble and Maria Medas are already so down.

Who else is coming?

- Jennifer

My Deal Makers and Breakers

2010-01-31T15:08:00.000-05:00

Even though I am happily IAR, I have decided to keep up with the theme here and make my deal makers and breakers list.

Deal Makers
-A girl who enjoys books. I love to read. I mean I LLOOVVEE to read. I read on average two to three books a month, I like a girl that can keep up with that. The number one way to get my attention is to recommend a book to me. I’m serious. If Rosie O’Donnell tried to hit on me and started talking about books she would go from a 2 to a 5.

-A girl with bangs. I love them. Unless they’re short bangs, then gtfo.

-A bitch. Sigh.

-Hipster girl. My weakness. I hate ‘em but I love ‘em. This falls in line with good style. Straight legs at all times plz. I also like a girl that can wear a dress...well.

-A girl that loves pop punk. If you’re not down to sing along with pop punk in the car or at a show then I do NOT want to date you.

-Musician. Being able to play music with a significant other is a dream of mine that has yet to come true. But I’m not worried about it because when Hayley Williams and I date this will happen on a daily basis.

-A girl that can get silly at times. I am weird. I need a girl that can be weird with me sometimes. I’m not talking weird all the time...only sometimes... “sleepy haha” times mostly.

-A girl that loves to cuddle. A lot.

-A girl that is DTML. This means Down To Make Love. Contrary to popular belief I AM down to fug and get wild, however I also enjoy a good love making session, and appreciate a girl that is also into this.

-A gold star like me. Being with a girl and thinking that some guy has f****ed her before really grosses me out, but I can deal with it. A girl that has only been with girls...dat’s hott.

Deal Breakers
-Insane. Now let me clarify this. I love a girl that is a little cray. HOWEVER if you have any mood disorder including but not limited to: Bipolar I, Bipolar II, Cyclothymia, Major Depression, I do not have the time. I’ve already experienced dating someone with issues and I do not have the strength to deal with it again for at least another five years.

-A girl that cannot carry a conversation. I am shy but I can at least start some kind of convo. Nothing is worse than a girl who will text you all the time and then you are hanging out irl and just does not speak. I’ve been in that situation. It doesn’t matter how attractive the girl is, it’s awkward, annoying, and dumb.

-Bad style (a recurrent theme). Flares, flops, A&F, Aero, Hurley, Billabong, cargo, wife beaters, shirts with stupid shit on them, etc. Go to Barnes and Noble, buy a copy of Nylon, get into it. Or just go to American Apparel.

-No college degree or no plans of getting one. Wtf do you plan to do with your life?

-Not out to friends or family. We’re not in high school anymore.

-Bi/straight girls. I’ve made this mistake too many times. They will always break your heart I swearrrrrr.

-A girl who is drunk 3 or more nights of the week. I’ve had my fair share of drunken nights but they’ve been few and far between, maybe one a month or so. If you’re getting drunk nearly every night I am not down to hang out. Clean yourself up.

-Drugs. There is no way in hell I will ever date a girl who abuses any kind of drug. I’m not down for hearing your “deep” conversations when you’re high.

-If you complain a lot. Unless you are at serious risk of dying then I really do not have time.

Ashleigh

My List Number 2.

2010-01-30T21:27:00.004-05:00

This is a list of albums that I consider to be flawless/my favorite. Meaning I can listen to every single song on the album (maybe minus one or two) over and over again. I realize that not all of the albums I list (or maybe any of them) are considered timeless classics or lyrically brilliant or whatever. Actually most of it will be what most people consider shitty pop-punk. I don't care. It rulez.

Note: These are in alphabetical order, not numerical order starting with the best or anything.

1. The All-American Rejects, "Move Along"

Mairin actually bought this album at a record store in Delaware while we were on vacation in 2006. I feel like it was in the CD player in the Jeep for like 4 months straight after we got back. Honestly. I love it. Also, I have it on vinyl and the record has a super cool design on it that I'm way in to. Check and check.

2. Ben Kweller, "Sha Sha"

My good friend Jeanne introduced me to this album when I was in high school. I listened to it a lot, a lot on the way to and from school every day. Ben Kweller always surprises me with how good all of his albums are, but this one is definitely my favorite. He is also really great live.

3. The Click Five, "Greetings From Imrie House"

I am completely serious with this one. I was beyond obsessed with this album in 2006. I dare you to listen to it and not feel stoked on life.

4. Coldplay, "X&Y"

I know, I know. Coldplay. So overrated. Or whatever else you're thinking. But honestly one of my favorite albums ever. 'Fix You' is also one of the best sad/happy songs I've ever heard, and I'm definitely down with that. Seeing them live is also amazing. I would recommend it.

5. Copeland, "Beneath Medicine Tree"

Ah, yes. This album came out in like 2002? Maybe 2003? The point being I was heavily into my emotional/indie rock phase in life (aka I was like 16). But I can still listen to this album today and feel just as weirdly emotional. Jonathan Parker introduced me to this album and I can't thank him enough. The album artwork is also some of my favorite ever. Pretty bummed they're doing a farewell tour this year. They make good music.

6. Down to Nothing, "Save It For the Birds"

It's true. I consider hardcore to be good music. Mind blowing to many I realize. But this album fucking rules. These guys went to my high school and getting interested in this album/the hardcore music scene in general is probably one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. The second time I saw this band play at 929/Nanci Raygun/whatever is probably the best show I've ever been to.

7. The Format, "Interventions and Lullabies"

I still listen to this album on a weekly basis. Probably my favorite album of all time lyrically. So stoked I got to see them at the 9:30 Club before they broke up.

8. Green Day, "Dookie"

This is one of the first CD's I ever bought with my own money. I was like 10. Best purchase I've made to date.

9. Jimmy Eat World, "Clarity"

This is my favorite album ever made. Without question. Seeing the 10 year anniversary tour for this album is the best concert I've ever seen live. I almost cried when 'Table for Glasses' started. True story. Ask Ashleigh.

10. Land of Talk, "Some Are Lakes"

I also listen to this album on a weekly basis. There's nothing completely mind blowing about it. It's just a really, really great indie rock album. I love every song.

11. Memorial, "Berlin"

This is a Richmond-based band and probably my favorite local indie-rock ever. This album is incredible. You should really buy it and go see this band.

12. The Movielife, "Forty Hour Train Back to Penn"

Another great album to own on vinyl. Hit after hit. I check every day to make sure Jonathan hasn't stolen it from my bedroom.

13. New Found Glory, self-titled

Pop-punk lifestyle. Get into it. I've heard rumors that they will be playing this album in it's entirety when they come here on Valentine's Day. Jonathan already bought my ticket and is going as my date. We will be m0shing.

14. Ryan Adams, "Easy Tiger"

It was actually really hard deciding between this album and "Heartbreaker." But 'Two' is probably my favorite Ryan Adams song ever.

15. Saves the Day, "Can't Slow Down"

Again, hard to pick just one favorite album. But hearing the opening guitar part to this album makes me immediately happy. Also, 'Always Ten Feet Tall' is prob my fav STD song.

16. The Smiths, "Louder Than Bombs"

No explanation needed. If you feel like you do need an explanation, do yourself a favor and go ahead and download this entire album, listen to it for four weeks straight, then we can consider being friends again.

17. Taking Back Sunday, "Tell All Your Friends"

This was mentioned in my previous post on deal makers and breakers, so I won't explain it any further. You already know how much I love it.

18. Tegan and Sara, "So Jealous"

Duh. 'Where Does the Good Go?' is the story of my (and any other person who has ever had their heart broken's) life.

19. Third Eye Blind, self-titled

This album is beyond legit. Check it out. Relive some old jams and hear some lyrically incredible songs in between. Perfection.

20. Weezer, "The Blue Album"

I listen to this album every time I work out in my room. So good.

And that concludes my list. This was actually way harder than I even thought it was going to be. The only way this list even got completed is because there are 12+ inches of snow that are trapping me inside my house right now.

- Jennifer P.

Action!

2010-01-30T18:07:00.004-05:00

Dear DTJJ in RVA,

Since you're being snowed in right now I figured I'd provide you with some easily accessible girl-on-girl kissing.

For those of you who weren't as loser-ish as me and didn't have the Matrix video game, thats what this is from - not any of the movies.

oh yeah, that's katherine heigl and larisa oleynik from 100 girls.

thank you Scrubs, this perfectly completes the crush we all had in Candy.

before Shane and the parking lot there was this little SciFi scene. can anyone please help me think of what else the brunette has been in?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and now just because its impossible to resist; we can all just imagine banging at least one, if not all, of these girls when we were in middle school.

2010-01-30T15:31:00.002-05:00

So Nicole and I decided to rent a little lesbian flick from Blockbuster last night, since we hadn't watched one in some time. Let me tell you something, Running On Empty Dreams might actually be the worst lesbian film I have ever watched. I know that seems impossible with all the other shitty lesbo films out there, but trust me this is up there. It really pisses me off honestly because some asshole got funding for this movie (like thousands and thousands of $$) and I could make a better film for next to nothing. It's just disappointing that all lesbians are so poorly represented with this shitty shitty cinema. Needless to say if you want a good laugh then watch this. Nicole and I were cracking up several times just due to some of the randomness and the terrible plot and acting. I still have yet to see a good film about a female couple. I promise you bitches one day I will make a good one. (remember katherine moennig, megan fox, and lilo) oh dear god...

This cannot come soon enough.

2010-01-25T22:06:00.002-05:00

This is def not the first time K. Stew has been in this situation. Her face says it all. Clearly dtjj.

March 19th!

Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Jessie. Jay e double s to tha eye e.

2010-01-25T17:35:00.000-05:00

Gutentag fellow jammers. You might remember me from my previous guest blog describing an amazing night at babes. Well, a few months later and I'm an offical jammer. So suck it.

Make.
- First of all I love DMB, Jimmy Buffet, and especially Pearl Jam. As a matter of fact I happen to be wearing a Pearl Jam shirt as I type. So jam on ladies and gents.

-You gotta be dtjj(down to jean jam duh) dthf(down to have fun) and ndtbi(not down to be intimate). I'm trying to chill with my friends and have fun. There will be time to jam after. No need for private parties all the time.

-gotta be down to be outside. I'm trying to go camping and ride bikes and go rock climbing and go to the river/beach.

- you have to be down to travel. I don't want to sit in richmond forever.

-good style duh. No flops and flares. Male or female. No man should ever wear flops fyi. It looks stupid. Just don't do it. Trust me.

-i love food. You should too. It's yummy.

- I love to sleep. And I like to cuddle. But I don't like doing them both at the same time. If you're trying to cuddle me, or are even too close to me I won't be able to sleep and we are going to have problems. I'd actually prefer it if we didn't sleep in the same bed. Sorry babe.

-gotta be a good kisser and good in bed. I'm a great faker but I'd rather not.

-must like pop punk. You can't trust someone who doesn't like pop punk.

Break

-if you don't own at least one pair of vans.

- if you don't know anything about music.

- if you can't swim. Like really who the fuck can't swim?

- if you're stupid. Close minded. Or have no comomsense.

- if you don't believe in equality.

-if you don't care at all about global problems.

- if you don't have a job or go to school. I take care of myself and you should take care of you.

- if you don't like my friends. My friends are tight as shit and if you don't like them then you're a fool.

- if you don't like the xfiles. Or 90's tv/movies.

-if you don't like taylor swift.

-if you don't like tattoos.

-if you don't like to party.

-if you own a I bleed black and gold tshirt and wear it anywhere other than in your bed.

-if you have those little stick figure stickers of your family on your car. Or the flops sticker.

-if you don't like dogs. Or all animals for that matter.

-if you think wow is cool.

-if you go to the wave or roc church.

- if you don't like the beatles.

-if you don't think afv is funny.

Makerz and Breakerz

2010-01-25T11:40:00.003-05:00

Hi there. I am the newest jean jammer, inaugerated into the blog on the dtjj year anniversary. Pretty special stuff. I'll go ahead and give you my little list concerning just how you could seal said 'deal'.
MAKERZ:
Long hair. I'll put this first because I think it's def the first thing I look at. I'm tryina be yr boyfriend, so I don't want your hair lookin all butch. Not only does it have to be considerably longer than mine, it also has to be styled rite.

My Dog. I am always down to hang with cats, and you should be too, but you must absolutely be into my dog. It's not hard, she's the cutest ever.

Fancy food. I like going to new restaurants and eating new food more than anything. I also really like cooking. You should also really like cooking and cook me something tasty sometime.

Mean. You must be ready to be mean when the situation requires it. Or even sometimes when it doesn't. I like a girl that seems nice but is secretly a bitch. Ya gotta be classy when we're out and wild when we're in. Duh.

The others are pretty obvs. You have to dress rite. Fancy occasions might call for a pencil skirt. And heels. Nice tattoos are a bonus, too many showing is a little TM.

BREAKERZ:
You must be dtjj but also dthh. I need variety in my life.

You must NEVER listen to DMB or Jimmy Buffet or Pearl Jam.

You def can't ever wear cargo pants or birkenstock shoes or those sweat pants with stuff written on the butt. Ew.

Boring girlz and sad girlz. Just say no to ladiez that have too much time for you. I need an independent lady who barely has time for me.

Str8 grlz. I used to be all about turning them to the dark side, but lately I've realized that this is just WAY too much work and often puts you in a really messy situation. I want a girl who knows what she wants and isn't uncomfortable with that. I need a girl that has had a little experience with this whole thing that I've been doing since I was 13. You know, homo?

My list is pretty much the same as Mairin's. You could just read hers.
-Alana

List

2010-01-24T22:22:00.004-05:00

Guess I'm next. The list. Before this gets going, let me just say these characteristics are not sufficient to ensure that we'll fug; merely necessary for me to consider the idea. And yes, these will be slightly skewed by 0.6202008

Pros:

1. You must be DTJJ. I am the Jam Master and I have the knob you can slob to prove it.
2. C's no smaller. I need a woman, not a little girl so I want tits, thighs, and an ass.
3. You must be competitive, have ambitions, and be ready to keep up. I have high standards and I never stop. I'm not going to slow down to let you catch up or stop and wait for you. This applies to your professional life and your ability to game and have fun.
4. You need to be ready to watch movies. I more than enjoy them, I need them. 90s Meg Ryan, Tarantino, comedy, action, etc.
5. Fuck TV. I don't watch much; there's something better we could do. However, the Simpons, Jeopardy, and Bravo channel are all legit!
6. Must be spontaneous; I'm claustrophobic and sometimes I just need to get out.
7. Provocative. I need someone to entertain and intrigue me otherwise I'll get bored.
8. Thick skin. I'm analytical and will tell you what I think if you ask. Sometimes this means I'm a bitch, but I never mean to hurt or harm you.
9. Papi. I don't want someone to be my mom and try to wipe my ass. I can do that myself. What I need is a Daddy.

Cons:
1. Wallflowers, GTFO! I need someone to pull me out of my office and remind me I love to have fun.
2. Complainers. Nut up or shut up.
2. Debt. I'm frugal and a penny pincher. If you can't conceive of how to live within your means or don't have the balls to work hard enough to play as you please, we're not compatible.
3. Lazyness, so unattractive.
4. Yellow teeth. Even if they're a little crook thats fine, but they should be white; they're supposed to be white.
5. Pig pens. I like things clean, neat, and tidy.

And just in case you need context, please refer to LiLo's "Bossy", its analogous.

DTJJ: The Next Generation

2010-01-24T21:22:00.005-05:00

Over the past year, we've managed to make a few new friends, despite being infamous 'mean girls'. Two of these friends have been deemed awesome enough to be invited to join the blog.

The first is Jessiriah Hart, other wise known as J- Bone. Although she isn't technically a lesbian, or even bi for that matter, she has proven herself and is an official member of DTJJ.

Our second new blogger is the lesbian style icon Alana Smith. We met when she and I drunkenly made out at Babe's one Saturday night, and we were never really able to get rid of her. She proved herself to be pretty tight and very gay, so she I think she will fit in nicely here.

Welcome to the blog ladies. <3>

ttywydhabf

2010-01-24T20:16:00.004-05:00

Jenny brought it to my attention today that our blog has more of a following than I was aware of. Made me feel kind of bad that I have updated this thing about three times in a year.

So here it goes, my list of deal makers and deal breakers. Let's see how much mine differ from Jenny's.

Deal makers:

1. Not having a boyfriend. This might seem obvious but irl it's really quite a problem.

2. Being DTBI but also DTHF. Gotta be down with a dance party every once in a while.

3. Not hating cats and being down to eat Thai food. This is why Jenny and I could never make it.

4. Introduce me to new things. Be passionate about something that doesn't suck.

5. Have tight friends. If your friends suck, what does that say about you?

6. Tattoos. Well placed, quality art can be so hot.

7. Down to eat. My plan for the afterlife involves endless buffets. Get with it.

Deal breakers:

1. Bad fashion. I can be pretty forgiving for the right girl, but there are certain things I just can't get down with. I realize how shallow this sounds but whatevs, I'm just being honest.

2. Flakiness. It's annoying and rude.

3. I'm personally not usually a fan of hair dyed fake colors or a lot of makeup.

4. Finding out a girl isn't a Mac person can really make me question things.

5. Not being proud to be bi/gay/queer/whatever. I understand not being able to be out to everyone in your life, but I'm not down to always be your 'friend.'

6. Not in school/no degree/no real job. What's the point?

That's all I can think of for now.

I promise to not neglect the blog anymore. Expect another post in the next few days introducing our two new bloggers, Jessie and Alana.

btw- the title of this post isn't nonsense. I tweeted that drunkenly the other night and thought it was pretty genius. Anyone who can figure it out gets a ser high five.

Beach Babes.

2010-01-19T23:36:00.002-05:00

My list.

2010-01-16T22:32:00.003-05:00

For the new year I have decided to make a list of the qualities I am looking for in a person. Also, I have decided to include a list of definite deal-breakers. Here goes nothing:

Yes

1. You must be intelligent. If you did not attend or are not currently attending a university, I probably can't take you seriously.

2. You must know every lyric to the entire album 'Tell All Your Friends' by Taking Back Sunday. And be willing to posi jump to this album on vinyl in my bedroom.

3. You must be down to have fun (DTHF).

4. You must wear straight leg jeans. And preferably Vans.

5. You must be down to travel. And have the proper funding to do so at any given moment in time.

6. Every person I have ever legitimately been in love with has been left-handed. I'm just putting this out there. It's not really a qualification.

7. You must be down to give back rubs. 24/7. 365.

8. Must be down to go to shows/concerts. I'm not even that particular about what artist.

9. You must be a bitch. Seriously. If you're too nice, I'm going to be bored, aka not interested.

10. You must have great (or at least very good) abs.

No

1. If you are on the rebound in any form, please stay the fuck away from me.

2. Cargo pants, bell-bottoms, sandals, leather.

3. If you enjoy texting all day but in real life cannot hold a conversation.

4. If you are a flake/have a lot of social anxiety. It's TM.

5. Whistling. (Thanks Katie for this reminder.)

6. Cat-lovers. (I might compromise if the cat is REALLY tight.)

This is a pretty basic list, but it's pretty good. Covers most of the things I really care about. Your turn now Kacy. And Jessie.

- Jennifer

Just think.

2009-12-20T21:56:00.003-05:00

One year ago today, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting spiky-haired sweetie on the Babe's dance floor. Nicole got down and dirty with mock-turtleneck. Kacy vertically jammed a 30 year-old bisexual grad student. Ashleigh was accused of being straight. And Mairin had an encounter with a heterosexual man sporting a slogan t-shirt (and a boner).

My life hasn't been the same since.

Happy one year anniversary, DTJJ.

I'm in love with all of you. Let's get married.

- Jennifer

Hey Mairin and Nicole.

2009-12-18T21:47:00.002-05:00

Does anything cool (and by cool, I mean gay) happen in California?

Let me know.

- Jen

Saturday night revisited.

2009-12-04T18:42:00.000-05:00

To be honest I don’t know if I can even give an accurate description of last Saturday night because I’m pretty sure I was on a different planet, mayhaps even in another galaxy. Regardless, I will attempt to relay the events of the night from my perspective. Quite a few of us were at Sallen celebrating the visit of Mairin and Nicole, so naturally Crotch and I got bombed. We started out with some Mickey’s and things were fine everyone was reminiscing, having some laughs, great time. Things got a little out of control when Crotch and I got out the bottle of vodka that’s just been sitting in the fridge at Sallen. Next thing you know I’m giving a male a back rub, kissing him on the cheek, saying if I met him in high school I would’ve gone straight for him. Yikes. I was lost in a haze of straightness. Luckily I was able to light my way back to the gayness by eating a Cheez-it out of Jessie’s fly. Unfortunately we had to say goodbye to Mairin and Nicole, but not before DTJJ bestowed a Christmas miracle on me by fronting a plane ticket to Cali for yours truly. After this I teleported to Babe’s. All I remember about Babe’s is it was really popping off. Then it was just a very quick flash of the following: dancing to “Bad Romance”, making out with Crotch, making out/jamming Crotch on the pole in the center of the dance floor, a certain someone getting sensi that I made out with Crotch, being told I didn’t need more alcohol, taking some sort of lime flavored shot then chugging the rest of Crotch’s beer, stepping on so much broken glass on the floor (luckily earlier in the night we watched a live performance of Annie Lennox singing her hit “Walking on Broken Glass”, obviously some foreshadowing), and standing outside the establishment trying to convince a straight girl to go gay for me. All in all it was quite a night and I’m sure I have left out a lot but that is only due to my extreme intoxication and in order to protect the privacy of certain parties involved. If you want the juicy details you’re gonna have to jam me.

-Sasshleigh

All I'm going to say

2009-11-30T16:27:00.003-05:00

about Saturday night is:

there was so much broken glass, beer, and barf on the floor, that I could barely walk.

Not only is that a textbook example of alliteration, but it is a perfect description of the pure insanity that was our Saturday night. I'm leaving it up to Ms. Crotchford and Sasshleigh to expand upon this. We'll see if that happens.

- JP

Delaware Pride.

2009-09-27T21:51:00.006-04:00

Looking back at the photos displayed in my previous post makes me realize that words can really do this trip no further justice. I guess I will try to explain the in-between though. Just know in advance that the pics are greater than anything I could ever write.

The weekend of September 18-20 Kacy, Ashleigh, and myself traveled to the great state of Delaware along with our friends Lauren and Katie. We went with the intention of staying at Kacy's parent's beach house and eating delicious food. But as fate would have it, it just so happened to be the weekend of pride in Delaware! We had no idea (despite what Lauren may believe) that this event was taking place. Thanks to a little store called Out Wear, however, we learned of this glorious event.

So on Saturday the 19th we all traveled to the pride fest events. The pride fest there was pretty womp womp in my opinion. Besides the fact that it took place pretty much on the beach. That was really the only redeeming factor. There was a mandatory $5 cover fee, which is pretty steep if you ask me. We also had to wait and ride a school bus to the event from a distant parking lot. This was ok I guess. Just kind of annoying. And at the event in general there were just no young gays at all. Nothing fun to even look at.

We still held out a little hope for the night though. Kacy once again did her research and came across what seemed to be the only girl-centered gay bar in Rehoboth. This paradise was a little bar called The Frogg Pond, and no that is not a typo. That just demonstrates how genius this place is. I will admit the bar was pretty full so that was cool. More than I was expecting at least. There also happened to be a cover band performing on this particular night. Wicked Jezebel. Look them up. You will not be disappointed. They really brought the party. And we danced all night long. Kacy also met a new friend who she is shown making out with in the second photo below. Here is how the rest of us felt about their encounter:

Anyway, the bars in Delaware close at 1? Wtf? I don't know. But fortunately for us, a young gay gentleman had approached us at pride earlier in the day to inform us about Mass. He told us that it is a free monthly dance party for gays that takes place in the basement of a church. Count me in. He also told us that it went on until 2am. It just so happened to be about 3 blocks away from The Frogg Pond, so we quickly hurried over. This was the first rave I have been to in the basement of a church, but I have to say I would probably travel to another in the future if the opportunity presented itself. I even made a new friend:

So did Kacy [see post below]. Spiky Haired Sour (as opposed to Spiky Haired Sweetie who I had an encounter with at Babe's last December).

The evening was great. We really had to get out of there in a hurry though and quickly ran back to the car.

Delaware Pride was nothing compared to Pride in DC. But the after-party was pretty alright. I give it a 7 out of 10.

- Jennifer

PS: Special thank you to Katie and Lauren for putting up with all of this nonsense. I volunteer to take part in any hetero activity you have in mind from here on out. You guys are awesome.

PPS: Ashleigh and Kacy, I'm calling you sassholes out. Blog about Richmond Pride. And I love you.

Kacy pulled the trigger.

2009-09-22T00:41:00.003-04:00

And I loved every second.

Explanation to come later. Maybe.

-Jennifer

Being a sad girl

2009-09-04T00:23:00.003-04:00

I hate girls. They fuck with your head, say shit they don't mean and leave you wondering if there was ever any reason to do it at all. Why do we trust people with ourselves when we just end up getting the wind knocked out of us?

On the one hand I'm hurt and I am questioning why we ever do this to ourselves, but on the other hand I just want to be IAR and have someone to fall asleep with. How can you want two different things so badly at the same time? Maybe in the long run the good times were worth it, but there is nothing as shitty as that feeling in the pit of your stomach caused by girls who break their promises.

Crotch and I

2009-09-03T22:54:00.004-04:00

Keep this blog alive.

- Jennifer

PS: We are getting engaged. NBD.

For real though. I have been keeping it pretty real with going out lately. Went to Babe's on Saturday with Saudrey and Brittany. Not much to report there except a vampire sighting. Yikes.

Last night Crotch, Ashleigh, and myself traveled to Godfrey's. It was ok I guess. The usual nonsense. We brought our hetero friends Katie and Lauren as well. Of course Katie was the first person to get asked to dance. Wtf? I don't know. I think Katie's plaid shirt may have thrown this girl off. I can't blame her though; Katie was pulling out some fantastic moves on the dance floor. Overall it was a pretty great time. Fun was had by heteros and homos alike.

PPS: If you're not DTHF then GTFO.

DC Pride.

2009-07-26T21:56:00.004-04:00

It's true. I'm finally going to blog about our trip to Pride 2009 in Washington DC. The parts I can remember at least.

On the 13th of June Crotch, Ashleigh and myself traveled up to DC for a little gaycation. It was pretty glorious. We immediately boarded the metro in Arlington and headed to the city. The metro was insane. Cars and cars packed with gays. Most gays I have ever seen. I obviously was brilliant enough to wear my 'Legalize Gay' shirt in order to be easily identified by other gays. Ashleigh was also genius and carried her rainbow unicorn backpack. Kacy was probably just mistaken by all as a hetero.

Anyway, we finally got to the parade and it was damn genius. Way more stuff for the guys. But that's fine. Met up with our fellow Richmond gays Marcia and Josette in the park. The parade was soo long. It was insane. I couldn't believe all the gay support. My fave was obviously the gay-supporting clergy. Love it.

We found a location for dinner and then quickly proceeded to what we thought was going to be a happening spot for the night. Crotch did her research and discovered a club known as Phase 1 for us to travel to by metro. We were spotted by a fellow gay sporting a rainbow sari on the way there. She gave us more precise directions to the club and furthered our belief that the club would be hopping. Phase 1 was definitely not number one in my book though. The set-up inside was all wrong. The 'dance floor' was some 15 x 15 raised piece of wood on the floor. And the majority of the rest of the club was taken up by a huge pool table with girls standing around it. Not tight.

We decided, however, that maybe the real party was going on outside (we had seen some photos of jello wrestling happening at this location online) but no. We were once again disappointed when we realized that the outdoor area was pretty much the equivalent of a backyard in the Fan with a tent set up selling beer.

The only good points of the night that I can think of are girls walking around with rainbow band-aids covering their nipples and one couple just going at it on the dance floor. Most intense vertical jam session I have ever witnessed. Here's some photo evidence of the occurance:

I think my face says everything that really needs to be said about the incident. Although I did dance with a woman who had three tiger paw prints tattooed on her back and what I can only assume were the names of her three children underneath each one. Breath-taking. We left pretty early feeling majorly disappointed. This was pride! In my opinion everyone should have been inilated, naked, crowd surfing, and jamming. But instead what I got was a pretty tame night in an incredibly small club with no attractive girls in sight. I would say I got most of my enjoyment for the night while watching old episodes of "The 'L' Word" that were playing on the flatscreens.

Sunday the 14th we woke up and again headed back into the city. This time we were joined by our friends Kate and Lauren, and we went to the capitol for some pride-fest event. There were a ton of vendors and a ton of free stuff (which I always enjoy). There were also a ton of gays, but that goes without saying. We left around 5pm and drove home with our pride flag flying high out of the window of Kacy's car.

Overall I would say that pride was pretty cool. It was pretty incredible to see so many gays/gay supporters. Who knew?

- Jennifer P.

Kissing girls

2009-07-17T14:13:00.001-04:00

This photo was taken last November in Austin, Texas at a Diplo concert. I was on stage dancing with friends when I saw some obvious dykes. So, just to test my cuteness I made real intense eye contact with one of the girls. The above photo is evidence of the outcome.

Until I stumbled upon this photo in my Photobucket today I had all but forgotten about that little tryst. What it makes me wonder is, why doesn’t this shit happen to me on the reg?! Why was I able to be a cocky little shit in Texas, yet can barely handle maintaining eye contact with a girl at Babe’s?

I think it comes down to two things…

Firstly, the whole issue of what if something does happen with a girl at Babe’s? Let’s say an intimate dance, a make out and a number exchange. Maybe something good could come out of it yes, but given how small the lesbian community of Richmond is you could also get yourself into a lot of trouble. Perhaps she has an angry ex or worse- she isn’t as cute as you drunkenly thought she was and you have to continue to see her around town for the rest of your life. I really don’t feel like having to avoid yet another awkward person everywhere I go.

The other thing that gets me is my audience. I love you guys, but having you stare me down and laugh the whole time I am dancing with a girl doesn’t exactly aid me in being suave. Also, considering how much I get made fun of for everything else I do, the addition of an ug-o MO would just be too much.

This is why vacations make for the best times.

This leads me to my next point. I am currently on vacation and yes, I have done some making out. One girl was clearly just friendly, drunken non-sense, but the other girl… I don’t know what her deal is. She said I reminded her of Shane from the L Word so I played the part and I think I did a damn good job.

I have another two weeks here and I am def keeping my eyes open. Hopefully a babe will come my way. Preferably an actual gay babe, or at least bi- curious.

Now I just need to work on channeling Shane everywhere I go. I could really benefit from some casual cockiness. Ironically, this is the ep of L Word I watched today…

DTJJ Photoshoot

2009-06-28T19:53:00.003-04:00

bitches.

We're losing a comrade

2009-06-27T16:22:00.004-04:00

To celebrate the last night with our are dearest Crotchford tonight we are going out to Babe's to party and dance. We hope you have a great trip; enjoy France! Mairin and I will miss you terribly cupcake.

Loves you,
Coley & M.

Summer in the city

2009-05-28T20:47:00.006-04:00

So far the summer of being single has been pretty legit, even though it really just started to feel like summer this past week. It’s crazy to think that school only got out three weeks ago. How in the world is it still May?

D.C. Pride is coming up in a few short weeks! It’s about damn time for anther gaycation, and this one will probs be the most gay yet. Jenny pointed out that there will probably be a ton of celebs at Pride this year considering how much of a hot topic the gays have been lately. I am beyond stoked for the whole event. It’s always nice to have some homo- charged fun in the city and I am sure the people watching will be out of this world. Also, we get to make my mom uncomfortable by filling her house with lesbians! I think that is what I am looking forward to the most.

Okay, time to put your imagination cap on and picture how tight the following pic would be if the towel were rainbow…

Tight, huh?

p.s. I realize the photos I post are too large. This is me not caring. Or maybe Nicole will fix them? (hint hint Coley) Hint taken Crotch; photo fixed :) -Coley

Guest Blog!

2009-05-22T19:56:00.002-04:00

First and foremost allow me to introduce myself, my name is Jessie Hart and today I will be celebrity blogging in honor of my two good friends and fellow bloggers, Jenny Patterson and Kacy Crotchford. Now if you are a follower of this blog, or are tight in anyway at all then you already know how genius the local gay bar Babe’s is, and really I could just end my blog post by stating the fact that we went there last night, and you’d already know all you need to know. But on Saturday May 16, 2009 for some reason, Babe’s was really really on point.

The members of this magical trip to Babe’s were Jenny, Kacy, Ashleigh, and myself. Now lets start out with good old Jenny, upon entering Babe’s Jenny was greeted with a kiss on the lips by one of her former travel basketball team members (and also one of few actual babes in attendance at babes on this particular night). Now I don’t know about the suburbs of Richmond, but I know where I’m from I’ve never been kissed on the lips by one of my former teammates, well that’s not entirely true this dude I used to play baseball with kissed me on the lips a few times, but he also used to fuck me too, so you can see the point I’m trying to make here. Jenny definitely won the “see who can get hit on first” game we regularly play when we go to Babe’s. Jenny was also given this girls number and a second kiss on the lips upon our departure.

Now for all you fans of team Crawford don’t you fret because Kacy was a very close second in last night’s games. Kacy was approached by a true gem only moments after Jenny’s encounter, who I later found out is named Rachel. At first Kacy was a little timid and Rachel walked away, but Ms. Patterson being the great wingman she is wouldn’t stand for this. Jenny approached lovely Rachel on her way to the bar and told Rachel that Kacy really wanted to dance and let me tell you she did. So Rachel asked Kacy to dance and it was pure geniusness for the rest of the night. There was a lot of vertical jean jamming on the dance floor that night and soooo much clit on clit action. I’m kinda surprised Kacy and Rach didn’t jizz in their pants. I’m also surprised that Kacy didn’t try to get Rachel's number and invite her to the flops and flairs party.

While all this love action was going on Ashleigh and I were having a gay ol’ time on the dance floor. I witnessed the infamous strut and we brought back some pretty great moves (i.e. rollin with the homies). Overall this was by far the best trip ever taken to Babe’s I can only hope that we will be returning tomorrow night.

Stay gay Richmond.
- JH

Babe's; the land of flairs and flops

2009-05-17T12:51:00.003-04:00

Babe’s last night was pretty genius. I don’t know why my friends like to torture me so much, but of course Jenny had to go tell a girl to dance with me like I would be interested. Greaaatt…. Thanks J. Patt. It wasn’t so bad, but the amount of awkwardness experienced in that place is uncomparable. I’m still trying to go every Saturday night this summer though. Too tight to pass up. Plus those pool tables are def my new fave hangout. In fact, why aren’t we there right now?

I think the following is a good representation of J. Hart's and my own aspirations:

Babe's.

2009-05-17T02:41:00.001-04:00

So on point tonight. I'm not even going to get into it right now. Be on the look out for a guest blog by j.hart in the near future. T ya.

- Jennifer

PS: Kacy Crotchford I'm calling you out. Please blog. About anything.

Hollins University.

2009-04-20T22:06:00.002-04:00

Definitely knows how to party. This was my second time attending the annual drag show there, and it did not disappoint. All-girl schools are a pretty genius creation. I will try to blog more about this later. Maybe even post some pics/vids if I stumble across any good ones.

- JP

AfterEllen.com is that tight

2009-03-27T01:39:00.000-04:00

Jennifer Lee says so. I trust. Nuf said.

Out,
Coley

West Coast.

2009-03-16T16:08:00.004-04:00

For spring break last week I traveled to San Diego, California. I'd been to California once before and was impressed, but at the time I was IAR. So I didn't do too much looking around. I won't say that it was my first priority on this trip either, being that I hung out with four guys and a German girl for the majority of the time. I did my fair share of looking around though. And I have to admit I was moderately impressed. The west coast lived up to its promise of having stylish, attractive females. It was definitely a nice change of scenery. It also kept its promise of having gay couples everywhere. For example, I took this picture of my guy friends at the zoo. But more importantly, let's make note of what's going on in the background. Exactly. A perfect example of what was described in the previous post on attractive lesbian style.

- Jennifer Patterson

PS: I promise more updates soon. I know how much we are slacking.

How to be an Attractive Lesbian

2009-02-04T13:41:00.006-05:00

Yes:

1. Straight legs

2. Properly fit clothing

3. Oxford Wingtiped Dress Shoes

4. Vans & Nikes

5. Flannel Shirts

6. Cardigans

7. V-Necks and Deep Vs

No:

1. Boot cut, flares, or cargo pants

2. Muffin tops or baby tees

3. Athletic & Lounge wear when you're not working out or sleeping

4. Light wash or sandblasted jeans

5. Crocs & Mandals

8. Facial Piercings

9. Leather

11. Turtlenecks

Sisters of Philadelphia.

2009-01-20T20:50:00.009-05:00

Over the weekend Nicole, Mairin, Ms. Crotchford and myself traveled to the great city of Philadelphia. We arrived on Saturday afternoon, checked into our hotel, and proceeded to walk around the city in below freezing temperatures. No worries though. It was still tight. We went out to dinner at a restaurant called Triumph. Mairin was drunk. We were seated next to a private party of sorts involving a bunch of 30 something year old men and women.

This is a wonderful time to explain one important observation about Philadelphia: overall, the people there seem to be stuck in the year 2001 in terms of style. Light washed jeans everywhere, guys all wearing diesel shoes or something similar, and lots of flare on the pant legs of both males and females. What the fuck? Mind blowing.

But back to this private party. Two important notes: 1) We watched one man devour countless plates of hors devours 2) We saw another man wearing a dry-fit long sleeve shirt tucked into his light-washed, sand-blasted wide-leg jeans. FUCK. Enough said.

We then traveled to a bar where a really happening 'dance party' was going on upstairs. The dancing here consisted of a number of awkward straight girls and over the top gay guys battling on the dance floor. Too much.

Finally we arrived at Sisters of Philadelphia. Upon first entering the club, I was amazed at the amount of women surrounding the bar. For a few minutes, while checking my coat, I actually held out some hope that there might be at least one acceptable female in the building. Incorrect. Although women were everywhere in that place, none of them were acceptable. And due to the consistent style issues discussed earlier, I would say that I did not even see one woman above a 5 on a 1-10 scale. Bummer. The dance floor upstairs was also a true mystery to me. A fog machine going off, strobe lights, and a consistent mix of rave style party music. No thanks. I did witness a gay guy do a double toe-touch on the dance floor to the rave version of 'Since You Been Gone.' I think he may have had previous cheer leading experience though. Still the best thing I saw all night.

Overall, I would say that the trip to Philadelphia actually made me appreciate Richmond a little more. At least people here generally wear a dark wash jean of some sort. And decent shoes (i.e. Vans). It also made me appreciate Babe's a little more. Definitely a better music situation on the dance floor. And generally a better style situation (although not much better usually).

On a different note, Barack Obama is President now and that rules. See ya.

- Jennifer Patterson

__________________________________________

The Queer Community is unworthy of the Gayborhood of Philly. The 6 square block of Midtown with pride colors above each road sign is my heaven. Taking the genius of my PA friend, it should be called Illadelphia (in tribute to Lil'Wayne, a true man). I surprisingly enjoyed every frost bitten moment in the city - art museum, love park, the peppers and mustard at Pat's cheese steaks.

However, my issue with the queer folk is this - amidst the genius architecture and setup of the Gayborhood are the most unattractive gays and wasted space. Case in point, Sister's Dance Club. The straight club/bar we were at prior to Sister's and the restaurant/lounge Triumph were both better than Sister's. As our dear Jennifer noted, the fashion sense of Philadelphian's is non-existent. And again, the music Sister's was playing was ridic - bad rave music, wtf?!!? Unfortunately, if you're gay and in Philly stay in Heteroland, you'll have a better time.

Peace,
Coley
________________________________________

I had high hopes for Philly. Well, high may not be the right word, but I did have hope. Past experience has taught me to set my standards low for girl bars, but Sisters truly exceeded my expectations. It amazes me that people still allow themselves to dress as though they are living in the 1990's. Do these people have TVs? Magazines? Eyes? Brains? As far as I can tell they def do not, or more frighteningly, they think that Uggs paired with light- wash American Eagle flares and a top from Charlotte Russe is the pinnacle of fashion.

I would give anything to hear what the women of Philly thought of us. It sounds extremely pretentious, but I can't imagine they thought we were the unattractive ones. I'm guessing that they thought that we were either straight, unapproachable hipster- types or just plain out of their league. Likely, it was a combination of all three. Situation reversed, I would be apprehensive to approach the four of us.

Ultimately, what I was hoping to find in Philly was some cute, random girl to make out with on the dance floor, because aren't anonymous hookups the point of traveling? But alas, not one lady met the standards. Had I been blacked out there may have been a chance, but just imagining the inevitable morning after regret makes my stomach hurt.

Perhaps I will write an op- ed for the Philadelphia Gay News encouraging the ladies of Philadelphia to step up their game. They certainly could use a push in the right direction, because when the Transsexual woman drinking alone in the corner is a more appealing target than you, it is time to reevaluate what you've got going.

- Ms. Crotchford

Come Out

2009-01-15T23:52:00.002-05:00

After having a conversation with my Dad today in the car after dinner and a movie with the family and mairin, I realized how ridiculous I was to ever fear coming out. I talked to my Dad about wanting to go to a strip club for my 22nd birthday, he got me porn and a vibrator last year for christmas, and when I first came out to my parents told me that he understood, 'women are hot! I get why you like them. I like them too. I'm an ass and legs man, myself - what do you like best?"

My advice to anyone out there who has yet to come out in fear of losing friends or family - don't. if anything its the quickest way to rid yourself of hatred that only makes you hate yourself even more. The people with whom there is true mutual love and respect won't give a rats ass who you fuck as long as your happy.

Come out! If your nervous, come have a drink with my friends and i and we'll take you out. No need to ever fear being yourself again. Unless, you too, are stuck in Prince George (or its horribly Southern ignorant equivilant county of dixie flags and homophobia) and if that's the case, get the fuck out!

:) peace

-Coley

Tips on being a good Wingman or WingWoman

2009-01-14T23:32:00.002-05:00

1. If your friend is going out to get shitfaced stay sober to make sure the person they are hooking up with isn't woof.
2. Don't be afraid to walk up to the person your friend is interested in and strike up a conversation. Make sure you ask them questions so they can talk about themselves. People love that shit. Ask them where they are from, where they got their shoes, what size dildo they like? ha After you get acquainted introduce them to your friend.
3. Keep an eye on your friend all night. If they are talking with someone or get approached by some ug chick go and help them get away ASAP. You can even go to extreme lengths such as pretending that your friend is your girlfriend. That technique always works.

-Mairin

F You Dawn Dembo

2009-01-14T23:21:00.000-05:00

Post SheBar

Get that hair out of here, please.

Tribute

2009-01-14T22:42:00.003-05:00

To welcome in the new season, we want to call attention to some of the best L Word scenes of seasons past.

#5: Pot Brownie Party

#4: Alice, Jenny, and Monet

#3: Jenny and Marina Kiss

#2: Dana & Alice

#1: Shane & Carmen Dance

Thanks to the movies

2008-12-24T16:40:00.006-05:00

Wild Things: Neve Campbell & Denise Richards

Henry and June: Maria de Medeiros & Uma Thurman

Gia: Angelina Jolie & Elizabeth Mitchell

Thirteen: Evan Rachel Wood & Nikki Reed

Cruel Intentions: Sarah Michelle Geller & Selma Blair

Showgirls: Elizabeth Berkley & Gina Gershon

Bound: Jennifer Tilly & Gina Gershon

Mulholland Drive: Naomi Watts & Laura Harring

What kind of Lesbian are you?

2008-12-22T01:14:00.008-05:00

Coley, The Granola Dyke:

Your love for the environment and passion for your beliefs can be a bit overwhelming at times, but your friends and family know you mean well.

The Granola Dyke- 45%
The Surprise Dyke- 45%
The Sprightly Elfin Femme- 40%
The Pretti-Boi Dyke- 40%
The Femme Fatal- 40%
The Student Dyke- 30%
The Stud- 30%
_____________________________________

Ashleigh, The Student Dyke:

Your entire life is defined by two things: your intellect and your sexuality; moreover you often merge the two to lure in women.

The Student Dyke- 50%
The Pretty-Boi Dyke- 40%
The Surprise! Dyke- 35%
The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke- 30%
The Granola Dyke- 25%
The Sprightly Elfin Femme- 20%
___________________________________

Kate C, The Bohemian Dyke:

Your down to earth attitude and intense sense of fashion make you one of the most interesting lesbians on the earth.

The Bohemian Dyke- 55%
The Vaginal Reference Making Dyke- 40%
The Student Dyke- 40%
The Surprise Dyke- 35%
The Pretty-Boi Dyke- 30%
The Granola Dyke- 30%
___________________________________

Kacy, The Surprise! Dyke:

Despite the dead giveaways, such as the tattoos and love of the L Word, people still seem to think that you're straight.

The Surprise! Dyke- 50%
The Pretty-Boi Dyke- 50%
The Femme Fatale- 50%
The Student Dyke- 45%
The Stud- 35%
The Sprightly Elfin Femme- 35%
____________________________________

Babe's Night Out: Take One

2008-12-21T01:55:00.003-05:00

The outing: Babe's.
The bet: who can get the first drink
The winner (and consequential loser): me.

There was a series of women that lent to my victory. However, Babe's is not the Hot Spot Lesbian Bar of magical TV Land, so my victory was lent to some strange and fascinating ladies.

Let me introduce you to them...

The first woman to take me from the sides was an older black woman. Not Kit 'aw, Baby Gurl,' but more that crazy lady who probably has a home, but who's job is playing 'homeless'. This woman's come-ons were nasty. I spent the time just trying to hear if she was, in fact, as dirty as it was sounding she was. Some examples: "Damn gurll, You're flat abs are like my dream. I wish I could drizzle and lick some (?!?!?!?!) of 'em." Followed by, "I would do so many things to your (?!?!?!?!) you would never leave." This short dance was ended with, "I wanna lick your clit." Followed be a prompt escape vag intact. (Note for the reader: lady was full and short, with unfortunate face and broke teeth -- she is why even though I "won", if I hadn't left with my Baby by side, I would have felt more like the night's loser.)

She was followed by my main woman of the night. I say woman because this girl is a tax attorney - black skirt, white blouse, and repressed in an extremely conservative office. Meaning with a little bit of alcohol, this lady was ready. After half a dance, she took me to the bar and ordered two boilermakers. More dancing, some trepidations touching and brilliant maneuvering on my part to keep friendly and then I was led, again for another boilermaker. After the 2nd, all manners and playfulness left her. It got physical and handsy during the dance. Way too much for my comfort level. But, I'll give it to her. Not bad looking, actually pretty attractive. A mix between Elaine and Aunt Becky (Seinfeld and Full House for those of you who don't understand our genius). Hence forth she will be referred to as Alaine.

Some how (maybe Jenny knows) Alaine was replaced by lush-a-licious. This girl! You know that girl you went to high school with - she hung out with the trailer guys but while not THE hott trailer girl, was like her cousin. This was her. Not horrible, but full in the clothes, squat in the face, and dirty on the dance floor. I was pushed against the center poll and worked! All I remember was seeing tits, feeling ass in my crotch and seeing Ash, Kacy, and Jenny laughing. To anyone looking for a dirty bitch at their beck and call to tantalize and please them, I bet this girl would be great. Thanks for the dance.

Alaine, came back again, we danced, I escaped. Since there was no escaping her, Alaine came back, but this time when she got too frisky, I escaped to the security of Mairin, Ash, and Kacy. After Mairin left to Green shirt, I got grabbed by bootilicious black girl. Now, okay. I like the butt (1. tits; 2. thighs; 3. ass; 4. eyes) so I appreciated this girl's attention, however, the cream colored mock turtle neck was ridiculous. And totally not worth what happened next. Alaine saw mock turtle grinding on me, quickly crossed the dance floor and threw her drink in my face. For those of your who don't know, vodka stings like a bitch in the eye!!! Ouch! Okay, black booty- fine, but not my type. I only like my baby's. So I was out after that.

Conclusion of the night, Alaine deserves the lay she was hoping for. Two drinks paid for and she endured my Heisman Trophy 'straight arm' to the face refuting her advances . Plump-a-licious: Sorry, but I don't do less than a C cup. Dance club scene: shit happens, but thankfully, songs only average 3 to 4 minutes in length so you'll be free soon enough.

Overall, the night was a success. Crunk for fun, absent of drama with a Smoke by my side. Note to those of you with an attractive girlfriend: You have to handle advances on them with a keen eye on time. Two options: First, before anything ever happens - you see them coming up, step in front "no, sorry." Last resort, wait till they think they've conquered then surreptitiously whisper an offensive slander of their person and threat to their body. If they think its worth the fight, they'll attempt to respond to your comment. Don't let them. Before they say a word, strike, quick and discrete. The shock should be enough for you to establish domain and leave with your girl.

At the end of the night, Babe's is better than anything in the Bottom (a part from Rosie's - Hey, Sarah Robinson :) where have you been?) Music and great opportunities for people watching.

I'm out,
Coley

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Your Average Night at Babe's

One word comes to mind when I reflect on the events of last night: genius. It started with us all sitting around trying to decide what to do with this glorious Saturday night; the semester is over, our hearts are warm with the thought of Christmas just around the corner, and our loins were burning even warmer, so naturally we all decided to further accelerate this burning down below by going to the "pride" and joy of Richmond night life, Babe's. Now, I'm not much of a dancer, it takes me a few drinks before my inhibitions go and I'm able to get grindin'. When we arrived I was only mildly intoxicated; this is not enough for me to get on the flo, so to speak. So I did what I do best. Lurked. And let me tell you, there were some real gems out last night, diamonds in the rough if you will, and I will. Ms. Crotchford was kind enough to buy me a drink and we descended on the dance floor. The shining star of our crew was hands down, Coley. WOW. Every time I spotted her she was dancing with another breathtaking woman. And I say woman without any hesitation whatsoever, because all of them were exactly that. Full, 9 to 5 working, business suit wearing, grown ass women. Love it. I'm going to go ahead and say each time my eyes happened across Coley she was with a woman of a different nationality. No wonder she is about to get a degree involving International Studies. Kacy and I pretty much stuck together throughout the night, playing the "if someone we don't like starts dancing with us let's just act like we're together" game. We weren't really dancing too much, I think mainly due to the fact that we were so overwhelmed by all the sights going on around us. So much grinding I don't know how someone's pants did not catch on fire because of all the friction. I really do not. Speaking of grinding and pants on fire, Mairin and this young man who's shirt read "don't worry I do this all the time" (something to that effect, you know all those cheesy, hideous shirts you see at AF and AE that you can't believe guys actually wear) were really getting physical. You know, when going to an establishment such as Babe's your initial fear is that you're going to get hit on by this overpowering, older diesel lesbian, not that some freshly 21 year old GUY is going to put his D all over your backside. Further proof that guys are idiots. And while we are on the topic of hetero's, I was accused of being one last night. By none other than drunk as a skunk "Alaine". As I recall she came up to me after the cherry bombs her and Coley downed and said, "Hey I found the straight girl!! Let's make her feel comfortable!!" Then proceeded to dance awkwardly while I stood there awkwardly. I really do not understand why just because I do not wear baggy jeans, loose fitting t-shirts, have a little boy hair cut, or a pair of construction boots, that I am automatically a straight girl who loves to ride the penis. And to turn it around every woman who fits those physical attributes is not necessarily a lesbian either, I just had to use them to fulfill what I find the stereo-typical lesbian to be. You can't tell unless you actually talk to the person. I apologize to you Alaine, that I did not dance around with numerous women there and whisper sweet nothings about how my tongue was going to do amazing things to their clits and how I desperately wanted to take them home to pleasure one another, I'm sorry. My real mission was to find a potential lover for Kacy. Slim pickings. Though she did manage to get a dance with this one moderately attractive girl, who then turned out to be a 30 year old bisexual with a girlfriend. Yikes. I was briefly conversing with Jenny on the dance floor when a lady I'll call "Spiky Haired Sweetie" came out of nowhere and grabbed Jenny and began a seductive dance with her. Come to find out she def wanted to fug. Ohh Spiky Haired Sweetie, if only you had about 5 drinks less and your shirt didn't have remnants of spilled alcohol all over it. All in all it was a marvelous night. Many women got the burning fire in their pants extinguished by the tongue of some one night mistake, and you know, that's alright. As long as I get to witness the pre-fug grinding and vertical jean jams that seem to always lay within the confounds of Babe's with some of the best girls in Richmond by my side.

-Ashleigh

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Babe's of Richmond

I really don't know what to say about tonight that hasn't already been said. For the first half of the night I was caught in conversation and not present on the dance floor. Apparently I missed a few prize pieces. Soon Ashleigh and Kacy came to find me, however, and as I entered the dance floor I felt as if I was entering another galaxy. And indeed I was. So many babes. So fugged up. Needless to say, Nicole was blowing my mind the entire night. I could not divert my eyes. I tip my hat to you, Nicole Mallette. Ashleigh was called out for being straight? I don't know. Mind blowing. I don't have much to say about the dancing that occurred or any conversation that I had. It was all brilliant. I will say, however, as a direct quote "whispered" into my ear by one of the drunkest girls I have ever personally witnessed: "where is your girlfriend? I want to fuck you." Hm. Welp. See ya later.

- Jennifer Patterson

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Babe's?

Babe's... a title I find to be deceiving. No Babe's in sight, minus the girls I came with. How is it possible that I go to a gay club, and get hit on by a heterosexual man named Ethan? WTF?! He bought me a beer, and I had to endure his raging hard on pinned against my ass for a few songs...whatever. I was silly, and drifted around the rest of the club getting eyed by a few girls. One girl caught my attention a bit. She was not attractive in the slightest, but she looked like she was having a good time. She took my hand and led me out to the dance floor. I stood still and let her proceed to grind on me or whatever. She ended the dance with a whisper in my ear about taking me home and fucking. That was my cue to get the fuck outta there. I ended up getting back with Nicole, Ashleigh, Jenny, and Kacy. We all danced the last two songs and laughed hysterically. Nicole and I couldn't take our hands off each other. Typical. :) I can't wait to continue with this blog. This shit will be hilarious.

-Mairin

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Nicole Mallette is my hero

Tonight was my first Babes experience and basically Nicole and Mairin represented all. One girl was straight up a Sunday school teacher in a buttoned up cartigan, and of course was all over Nicole. Mairin was basically straightened out by some "hott" boy ( Todd/ Ethan/"his erection in my butt") in a slogan shirt. I danced with a 30 year old grad student which was just awkward. Oh yeah and Ashleigh is straight!

I have decided that we need to go there at least once a week.

- Kacy Crotchford

Members of DTJJ

2008-12-20T23:54:00.008-05:00

coley

mairin

ashleigh

kate c.

jennifer patterson

kacy crotchford