My Deal Makers and Breakers

Even though I am happily IAR, I have decided to keep up with the theme here and make my deal makers and breakers list.

Deal Makers
-A girl who enjoys books. I love to read. I mean I LLOOVVEE to read. I read on average two to three books a month, I like a girl that can keep up with that. The number one way to get my attention is to recommend a book to me. I’m serious. If Rosie O’Donnell tried to hit on me and started talking about books she would go from a 2 to a 5.

-A girl with bangs. I love them. Unless they’re short bangs, then gtfo.

-A bitch. Sigh.

-Hipster girl. My weakness. I hate ‘em but I love ‘em. This falls in line with good style. Straight legs at all times plz. I also like a girl that can wear a dress...well.

-A girl that loves pop punk. If you’re not down to sing along with pop punk in the car or at a show then I do NOT want to date you.

-Musician. Being able to play music with a significant other is a dream of mine that has yet to come true. But I’m not worried about it because when Hayley Williams and I date this will happen on a daily basis.

-A girl that can get silly at times. I am weird. I need a girl that can be weird with me sometimes. I’m not talking weird all the time...only sometimes... “sleepy haha” times mostly.

-A girl that loves to cuddle. A lot.

-A girl that is DTML. This means Down To Make Love. Contrary to popular belief I AM down to fug and get wild, however I also enjoy a good love making session, and appreciate a girl that is also into this.

-A gold star like me. Being with a girl and thinking that some guy has f****ed her before really grosses me out, but I can deal with it. A girl that has only been with girls...dat’s hott.


Deal Breakers
-Insane. Now let me clarify this. I love a girl that is a little cray. HOWEVER if you have any mood disorder including but not limited to: Bipolar I, Bipolar II, Cyclothymia, Major Depression, I do not have the time. I’ve already experienced dating someone with issues and I do not have the strength to deal with it again for at least another five years.

-A girl that cannot carry a conversation. I am shy but I can at least start some kind of convo. Nothing is worse than a girl who will text you all the time and then you are hanging out irl and just does not speak. I’ve been in that situation. It doesn’t matter how attractive the girl is, it’s awkward, annoying, and dumb.

-Bad style (a recurrent theme). Flares, flops, A&F, Aero, Hurley, Billabong, cargo, wife beaters, shirts with stupid shit on them, etc. Go to Barnes and Noble, buy a copy of Nylon, get into it. Or just go to American Apparel.

-No college degree or no plans of getting one. Wtf do you plan to do with your life?

-Not out to friends or family. We’re not in high school anymore.

-Bi/straight girls. I’ve made this mistake too many times. They will always break your heart I swearrrrrr.

-A girl who is drunk 3 or more nights of the week. I’ve had my fair share of drunken nights but they’ve been few and far between, maybe one a month or so. If you’re getting drunk nearly every night I am not down to hang out. Clean yourself up.

-Drugs. There is no way in hell I will ever date a girl who abuses any kind of drug. I’m not down for hearing your “deep” conversations when you’re high.

-If you complain a lot. Unless you are at serious risk of dying then I really do not have time.

Ashleigh